Dear (fill in your deity of choice here),
I just wanted to check in and see how things are going. From the looks of it, you’ve been a tad overworked and might have placed a bit too much on my plate. I understand that you have to place cancer in everyone’s life these days, but I really thought one was enough. Ok, so you thought differently and stuck another one in there. We can work with that. Chemo seems to be working out on both fronts as well as we can hope. But now, you’ve decided to place yet another dose of cancer on yet ANOTHER loved one. REALLY?! That makes 3!! Wait! It’s 4! I’m sorry my count was off because I had not accounted for the uncle who died a couple of weeks ago from cancer. I digress. So, the new one has already had major things happen to her body (horrible car accident, numerous surgeries to rebuild her leg, knee replacement that brought in MRSA, leg removal due to MRSA, pacemakers, oh and then there was the almost death from blood poisoning due to a late term miscarriage while in Guatemala) . I kind of think she’s had enough trauma in her life. Don’t you? Not to mention the family that will be quietly taking on more emotional & physical burden to care for her.
So let me suggest something. Maybe you could help out a bit more with getting the old codger healed from pneumonia and take a little stress off my sister. Lets have more positive reports from the esophageal cancer patient and let him eat more comfortably. And the new breast cancer diagnosis, please make it as easy as possible to remove the growth and allow the chemo to go smoothly. That’s all I request.
Oh, maybe one more thing. You know the snakes in the backyard? I realize this year has been a bumper crop AND they are exceedingly healthy and LARGE. Kudos on that! But can you keep them away from the lawn mower and Mr Moby? He seems to find them irresistible and hunts them. Which means I have to chase him down, extract the squirming snake from his mouth and toss it over the fence. I’m nice about it and don’t inflict additional harm. Handling 6 snakes today was a treat, but way too many! No snake sushi today and I really appreciate that! Good job there! Keep it up!