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Checking into Hospice

February 1, 2010

My friend Ella wondered how Lee was holding up. I started writing a reply in the comment section but realized others might not check that area.

Lee seemed to accept fairly early on Evelyn’s transition. He told us that he thought this whole surgery thing was a bad idea. Low and behold, he was right! He always keeps emotions hidden and I can’t remember ever seeing him really grieve over the loss of his brothers and mother. His motto has always been “don’t look back”. You just keep moving forward. He does appreciate us kids coming down to see him, having dinner/lunch, trying different restaurants or just meeting at the hospital. He and I were discussing what his next art project would be and even his joining the arts group in Yachats after everything is done. One big focus has been on getting the catnip growing business up and going, especially since the greenhouse is just sitting empty right now. We have agreed to attempt 50 plants for my backyard. Now I need to get busy and build raised beds.

I’ll be spending the morning looking into hospice care for Evelyn. Will she even last until Wednesday? Hard to say. Ideally, she will come to the realization that quality of life is all that remains  and want to shift with encouragement. Where will she be the most comfortable? Does she want to head back to Yachats? Would she be comfortable being back at South Hills Rehab/Retirement or do we place her out by Valley River Center in the other facility? Can we find another location with a good view? How much time does she really have with the remaining blood cells in her body? It’s always easier to write these things down than to actually face her.

Mike and I have been talking for many months about another trip to Hawaii. We were thinking Evelyn would be healed by March (this was our hopes back in September).  Now we might be spreading the guest list to include Lee & Kim. Front line folks might like a shift to warmer climates for a week. I think Lee could better handle a 5hr flight than the umpteen hour flight to europe 3 years ago.

Transitioning life is moving forward. All we can do is give her our presence and love.

I’ll let you know what today’s results are when I find out.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. jeul permalink
    February 1, 2010 12:59 pm

    I would guess Evelyn’s autoimmune issues, CREST, were not given enough weight in doctor’s decisions. Jean

  2. Suzanne permalink
    February 1, 2010 7:07 pm

    Thanks for your updates. Know you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

  3. Mary Everett permalink
    February 1, 2010 8:50 pm

    Gale, thank you so much for the faithful accounting of the events of Evelyn’s illness. I check your blog each day and thank Marilyn for making me aware of it. There is so much I remember and am grateful for with regard to your mother. Do not go gently into that good night.
    Mary Everett

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