It’s Wednesday night and I’m so wiped out mentally. I stayed home today and gleaned info from my sister who also avoided the hospital. Our uncle went in during the morning and reported Tom’s heart went through several series of fibrillation during the night. I don’t know what that really means, but I can pretty much assume it’s not a good thing. They continue to have problems with the dialysis catheters. This has been ongoing for the past 4 days. Something is clogging or shutting off the catheter and then they have to remove it and install a new one. They had to call my sister today and receive approval for installing a new one. On this round, they inserted a vein pick in his neck and installed the dialysis catheter in his arm. We could have chosen to let him go at that point, but we didn’t. Tuesday night my 2 siblings, my husband and myself met with the main physician treating Tom. He went through the full 14 days up til that day and what 3 approaches we could take. Option 1- do everything possible to keep him going including shifting the mouth ventilator to a trache tube. Option 2- continue with care but reevaluate at 4 days. If he goes through another cardiac arrest, we have issued a DNR (do not resuscitate) order. Option 3- remove all life support and let him go. The three (well 4) of us all know Tom would be appalled that we were keeping him going this far. He certainly wouldn’t want to be kept in a vegetative state. He would want to get better, go hiking and enjoy life. Unfortunately, his body and brain are not connected and things are getting worse every day. Tuesday there was internal bleeding in his stomach probably from a pre-existing ulcer. There is also talk of possibly needing a blood transfusion if the bleeding continues.
We have chosen option 2 and will probably ask to have the dialysis removed on Saturday. He has a group of friends who really want to see him before he goes. They will be coming on Friday if he makes it that far. I also have a text message my nephew wrote to read to his dad. He wrote one for my mother that I read on her last day on earth. That was one of the hardest things I had to do. I can imagine this too will be extremely difficult to tackle.
I’ll be spending my birthday tomorrow trying to handle more of his business issues and closing out the apartment contract. What a sucky day instore for me. I wish I could get some sleep. That seems to be eluding me and our whole household.