Reading and waiting

Yesterday was fairly unchanged in Lee’s condition. Dr F, the oncologist, visited while Mike was still there. The report was that he was very angry, mainly because he was loosing one of his favorite patients, but also because the dance with chemo didn’t work. This mornings report is that his breathing is shallower and more gurgley. Morphine has increased from 1.5 to 2. His appointment with death is drawing closer.

Kim brought along some of Lee’s favorite books. She read to him some of Rudyard Kipling’s “Just So stories” & A.A. Milne’s poetry from “When We Were Young”. These were books his mother & grandmother read to him as a child and what he did with all of us.

Dave and I arrived kind of late, having stopped at the house & bank for stuff. We dragged Kim, Kirsten & Jeff off for dinner. Felt all too familiar to the situation 2 years ago with our mother. At least my father never had to set foot in a nursing home. I find it interesting that we pretty much have someone there all day in the room. We didn’t organize this or even talk about it, but it just seemed to happen. Mike has been taking the late night shift, Kim comes for the day & I pop in for the afternoon to late evening. Tom is off training for a new job. Not the best time to take FMLA for a guy who hasn’t worked much in the past couple of years. We do what we can.

We were glad Harold & Lindsay were able to stop by for a visit on Monday morning. Not certain if anyone else in the family or friends circle will be stopping by to say goodbye.

 

Loosing the Battle

The cancer is winning the battle in my dad’s body.

Mike spent the night watch at the hospital. Kim & I went home to sleep. They took him off one pain medication and started morphine. He’s breathing more comfortably and doesn’t seem to be experiencing any pain. Family members: If you are hoping to stop by to see him, you should know he’s not responsive.

I’m not going to go into whats occurred over the past 48 hours because my brain is too foggy. He went down hill quickly to this point.

I need to get the funeral home/cremation lined up. Seems to be a family tradition to use Andreasons and that’s what we’ve talked about. We will see where things go today.

Waiting…

This is going to be yet another crazy day. We (my siblings & I) are pushing to have Lee admitted to the hospital today for IV fluids and hopefully a feeding tube. Mike is taking him in to the oncologist for a quick visit & to determine his urgency level (which is HIGH!) and hopefully they will get the ball rolling for the hospital.

Currently, I’m still heading to Sitka for the workshop. Hopefully I’ll make it through the weekend without having to rush off to Eugene. Dave heads to Alaska on Saturday…  Can life get any crazier??? I sure hope not!

I did want to post two images from yesterday.

Sun over Mary’s Peak. The cell phone just doesn’t capture the colors from last night. It was pretty spectacular. The shot was taken on Hwy 99E near Halsey. I think. I can’t really remember.  It did remind me of sunset/sunrise in India. A time so long ago.

Workshop? Is it this weekend?

Is it really Friday? I’m supposed to be heading to a workshop for the weekend and feel completely torn between staying to help my dad and doing something related to my work. Months ago I signed up for a weekend of Sitka fun. Drypoint intaglio printmaking with Tallmadge Doyle. I even have two friends participating! Oh, where is my brain?! I did manage to get paper ordered in time (but I’ve not checked the package… I had a dream they sent the wrong stuff two nights ago), the rest of the supply list is rummaging around the studio. Drawings! What the heck will I be doing for images?  Guess I’ll worry about that later today.

Lee still isn’t improving with his health. I talked with Tanya, one of the women who administer his chemo & who really likes Lee, and she urged me to get him scheduled for more fluids. So, that’s going to happen this morning at 10:45. Mike gets father duty today. Saturday will be a mix of nephew Bryant & my sister Kim… I think… I’m also going to connect with the dietician & family support person at the oncology unit today. Wish there was better news in the cancer world. Yesterday I kept popping small bits of protein bar, cheese and other tidbits into his mouth throughout the day. Then I would push the glass of juice into his hand and ask him to drink more. He did manage to consume 32 oz with this method of pushing. Not a great day.

Maybe I’ll locate my brain today before heading to the coast…. maybe….

Visiting a new shop

To escape some of the life drama surrounding things in Eugene, I encouraged my sister to take me to a yarn shop. This didn’t require much arm twisting since my sister is a weaving fiber nut and knows all the locations around town. We went to Soft Horizons Fibre.

They really have a lovely garden surrounding the old house!

Once you pulled yourself away from all the beautiful flowers and entered their front door, you are met by an equally beautiful stash of fibers! Colors and textures everywhere you look.

I brought a few lovelies home…

The yarn on the left will become something for my sister: silk, wool, angora & kid mohair blend. The ones to the right are for me: angora, wool & silk blend. Now I just have to figure out what to do with them!

Really awful Monday but a better Tuesday

This is yet another post concerning my dad’s cancer status:

Monday was flat out bad. Lee had reached a point of utter confusion and inability to do much of anything. Kim was wiped out trying to care for him on Sunday, so when Monday rolled around (and things weren’t any better) she didn’t know what to do. Guess that’s why she has a little sister who can look at the situation and call the doctor/nurse for help. I got through to the nurse right away, explained our situation, and she scheduled another blood draw to check levels. Hemoglobin was down to 8.2 (low for normal folks is 11).  By 1:30pm, he was at Riverbend hospital waiting for another blood transfusion. It wasn’t until 5pm that the blood started flowing. At 9 pm, they were back home.

There were some glitches during the blood transfusion: Since Lee has been so dehydrated, the needle insertion was extremely painful. The nurse chose to administer the blood at a faster rate than the last go round (about 2hrs per bag, 2 bags total) and the transfusion was very painful. Kim happened to go off for a dinner break with her son for an hour and Lee managed to pull the needle OUT of his vein, spilling blood all over him, clothing, floor…. his brain was not functioning well that day. Also, after they started the second bag and administered the lasix, well, lets just say he couldn’t aim worth a damn for the toilet. So Kim took him home covered in blood and urine…. Just not a fun day.

He actually slept exceeding well Monday night.

Tuesday we all trooped off to the oncologist for a dose of chemo, Zometta, and 500 mls of saline. Kim and I both encouraged more fluids since he’s not been ingesting enough. After 1.5 hrs, we were headed to lunch then home. Lunch sucked. I thought the Indian restaurant close to his home might be a good lunch choice but never again!! Plus Lee was feeling really bad from chemo. I wish I had just encouraged us to go home.

Maybe tomorrow will be better. Kim had already noticed a big improvement in Lee’s mental ability. She said he was almost like our father. I agreed.

Choices and Control

The past week has been filled with my dad, seeing many friends during dinner dates, seeing my cousin on Monday, driving back and forth between Albany & Eugene, text messaging family, trying hard to figure out edible food for Mr Picky-Eater and not touching anything related to my art. Evenings have been recharge time and mornings I’m up and out the door running in one direction or another. Lee hasn’t been doing well with increasing weight or ability to overcome his discomfort. Part of the problem stems from his refusal to drink more fluids to remain hydrated. Another part is his lack of appetite. The final part is his ongoing anemia.  We wonder if some of his refusal is part of a control issue. He lives in a world where everyone is telling him what to do, when to eat, what to drink, what pills to take. My mother went through this same thing during the last 4 months of her life. We all bent over backwards trying to help in any way we could. He has total food & beverage choice. He wanted Borscht soup on Friday, so I made it (and it turned out quite well if I do say so myself!). Whatever he wants, we’ll do it. Keeping his basic medications going has also been a struggle. He doesn’t believe in taking pills for pain. It was hard to get pain relief into his system two years ago during the vertebrae breaks. He doesn’t refuse it all together, but he won’t take it on his own.

Nuts and bolts of the week: Thursday afternoon was spent at the oncologist. His weight was down by .5 lb (and I couldn’t extract the heavy tape measure or change out of his pocket before he stepped on the scale); White blood cells in normal range (4), Red blood cells down to 8.4 (last week it was 9.3), temp normal, blood pressure 110/48. The doctor feels the white blood cells are crowding out production of the reds and chemo needs to start again. Lee dreads starting chemo again, but  how can he get around that? I’ve started asking him flat out if this is what he wants: Do you want to continue living? Do you want to work towards getting back to living life or not? Getting back to the projects he has waiting in the workshop, taking the trip to eastern Oregon, getting back to the coast and away from Kim & I? His reply has been yes, he does want to keep on living. He has a support crew rallying around him, help with food & daily things, but he needs to start fighting for what he wants.Where is our Captain Dart (a nick name he had at home and probably work 20 years ago)? He’s verbalized his choice so now he has to work towards the goal.  I think it’s high time to pull out the “brown rat dropping” pills (aka medical marijuana)  to help increase the desire for food. I just hope they actually have some effect.

Since the chemo med Velcaid wasn’t in stock at the oncologist, treatment has been delayed until Tuesday. They will also administer a dose of Zometta for bone health.  I suspect it will all be delayed  due to need for a blood transfusion before Wednesday.

Achy Back

Oh dear! Yet another thing to add to my dad’s list of medical problems. Yes, there is a compression fracture in the T6 vertebrae and possibly another in the lumbar series. Yesterday he had an early morning visit with his oncologist that both Kim & I attended. Blood pressure 120/60, temp: 98.1, weight: 154lb, white blood cells: good, platelets: good, hemoglobin: 9.3. Pneumonia seems to be getting slowly better after a week on heavy antibiotics. Possibly next week he’ll start chemo again.

For now, we’ll be focusing on trying to increase his weight, fluid intake and pain management.

I think I’ll have to go back through my own blog postings to find out if he’s had a fracture in T6 before. Back in 2010 he fractured 7 vertebrae and went through 3 kyphoplasty (was it that many???) surgeries to fix the breaks. Things have certainly become a blur in my brain. We will just have to wait and see where this leads…

It’s a chilly morning on the deck as I write this. Sunshine is slowly coming my direction (I’ve been out here since 5:45 with my morning cup of caffeine). I’m looking forward to happy hour with friends tonight and getting to see an old buddy on Sunday for dinner. Monday I meet up with my cousin Mary at the coast house to get her settled in for a week or more. We’re glad she is taking the opportunity to use it since none of us are out there. My time comes at the end of the month during a printmaking workshop at Sitka.

Enjoy the day and have a great weekend!

Yarn

Last fall I ventured into Corvallis’s newest yarn shop “Stash” and discovered a wonderful selection of Oregon crafted fibers. Since then I’ve been slowly discovering the joy of working with yarn, even dragging skeins here and there to wind or start projects. Public crafting!!! Yikes!!  The trip to Texas back in June helped start my newest endeavor seen below. All the extra time in hospitals and doctor offices have helped move things farther.

My current color is green.

After creating multiple scarves, I’ve finally decided to create other useful items that incorporate felting. A friend is teaching a felting class this July at Sitka that I had hoped to attend, but it filled quickly. So now I have the desire but no instruction except for the internet.

The first cover (above) was created for a Kindle. Now I’m working on a sleeve for the Nook that will also include a loop for a button. My sister wants one too but maybe in a different color. The challenge is figuring out how much the yarn shrinks and adding that into the design. Maybe I need to visit Stash for more yarn! Crazy Days sales are happening in downtown Corvallis and I know the shop just happens to have 20% off!  🙂

I’ve also started knitting but that hasn’t gone terribly far. My grandmothers old needles work fine but would love to get a set of the circular ones with different tips. They take up a lot less room than traditional long needles!

There is also a different design in the works on a long crochet hook. Too bad it’s been months since working on it because I’ve forgotten how the stitch goes or what it’s even called. At least it was fun to start! Probably time for a little deconstruction to figure it out. I used acrylic yarn to start this sample.

Lee seems to be feeling better every day since the new blood. Let’s just hope it continues!

Morning tea with the deck plants

Our back deck holds numerous plant experiments. Recently I pulled the terra cotta pocket-pot out of the back yard. It had originally been planted with a multitude of herbs, a gift to Dave on his 40th birthday from friends. The chives remain in a side pocket, but that’s all. I think I’ll have to add one of Lee’s sage plants to the top. This morning I chose to sit in the chair next to the pot on the deck railing. The planter surface has finally taken on some character with green, black, browns and greys. I couldn’t resist grabbing the camera ….

Last year my friend Carol dropped off several poppy seed heads (dried) at the office. I enjoyed having their interesting forms to look at, but discovered if you tipped them over, seed fell everywhere! Probably not the best thing for my keyboard. Eventually I emptied the heads and stored them in the kitchen at home. A month ago I decided to plant some, thinking only a few would come up. I now have two pots with a solid carpet of plants. I’ve transplanted a few but certainly don’t own enough pots to handle the remaining numbers. I really enjoy looking at their forms in the morning, observing the new leaves coming up and all the dew drops.

All the perfect droplets dangling on each point. There might have been more before I dragged my chair across the deck and dislodged a bunch!

🙂