21 Days

Most people don’t spend a whole lot of time in ICU. They don’t get to meet the multiple nurses and doctors that take care of the patients every day, all day. Our situation is different. We’re building some very nice friendships with the different nurses. Some are so outgoing and really enjoyable to talk to. Others are much more reserved and don’t want that connection. Oh well. Today we had one of those very straight gals. No warm fuzzies flowing off her!

At 2pm, Tom underwent the tracheostomy procedure. My husband, sister and I arrived about 3:30. We were able to watch the process of bringing him off sedation to a level that he was more coherent. Since the procedure, Tom is free of tubes in his mouth and throat (until you get to the trache spot). He was mouthing words to us, but it took me a bit to understand he wanted WATER! He actually requested it and he was thrilled that I understood the request. I think he really wants a pen and paper too. Maybe tomorrow we can figure more things out. Anyway, he is most certainly anxiety ridden and pretty freaked out by the whole place. Kim spent a bunch of time explaining that he was at the hospital and everyone there was trying to make him better. It was heart breaking. He wouldn’t let go of Kim for quite a while until he “comprehended” things a bit more. I would like to think we’re starting a better phase of things, but we just don’t know right now. He will be in a lot of pain from the surgery and I’m pretty darn sure his abdomen remains pretty painful too.

I was just happy to see something in there that actually resembled my brother.

I hated leaving him in such a scared situation. Unfortunately, I couldn’t handle being in the space any longer. The stress of it all (having him wake up and struggle with the communication) just blew me away. I came close to fainting (I’ve been there and recognize the signs). Dave will be accompanying me there in the morning. Hopefully more positive things will happen tomorrow.

Off to have some dinner and a movie. Maybe even some sleep tonight, but not likely.